Anger, outbursts, rage, or getting upset have various functions. However, when it becomes excessive or out of proportion, something underneath triggers it. It can ruin relationships and have negative effects in many other situations. This impacts not only the person who becomes unnecessarily angry but also family, friends, and colleagues who might hesitate to speak up or show their feelings. Sadly, everyone loses in this scenario
Anger and aggression always stem from something deeper.
Anger is a powerful emotion, and in reality, one loses control when they become too angry or have outbursts. It's here that amazing changes can be made, enabling you to remain calm and focused, viewing situations from a balanced perspective without exaggeration. As a result, you can address situations more effectively, even feeling satisfied afterward.
For instance, if all emotions were detached and you saw the situation for what it truly was, you wouldn't have gotten angry. Instead, you'd discern how best to handle the situation in a calm, confident, and constructive manner.
The result? You gain respect, are perceived by others as more reliable and stable, and come across as a strong leader. It's all advantages.
Is anger hereditary?
No, not in my experience! However, as a child, one might often mimic patterns from family and relatives. A kind of survival strategy that perhaps worked at that time. It can be changed through various methods.
Some anger is healthy
It can protect and help us defend against harmful things or events, allowing us to extricate ourselves from the situation.
Anger can also be used positively, prompting you to take action, to stand up against something. Being angry and daring to say "stop!" when you're treated unfairly or when someone behaves poorly.
However - there's a significant difference between getting angry and taking action by saying "stop" and having an outburst and losing control."
Anger should serve as a defense protocol where one reacts appropriately to the situation they are in.
Different aggression exists
Passive aggression is expressed in cynicism, pessimism, bitterness, sharp sarcasm which can lead to backbiting, undermining, and procrastinating. The aggression is present, but it is passive.
Not daring to express one's opinions, or stand up for one's needs (reasonable ones) can lead to feelings of resignation and hopelessness. The anger is often turned inward, manifesting as negative and ruminative thoughts about others and oneself, doubting one's own abilities and competence.
Anger can give many negative effects
Anger is rooted in many emotions, ranging from frustration to feeling unseen, attacked, stressed, unloved, hated or hating others, hopelessness, incompetence, unimportant, self-critical, powerless, belittled, and so on. It also arises when one doesn't dare to acknowledge their own "negative" traits and blames others all the time. It becomes a Catch-22 that doesn't lead to anything positive.
Anger creates emotions in the body! They need to be released in some way. That's why there are ONLY benefits if you transform it into something that works FOR you instead."
One can direct it inward, leading to high blood pressure, headaches, muscle pain, stress issues, difficulty sleeping, and more...
Even worse, one can direct it outward and harm oneself or others.
An effective method to reduce anger actually exists - easier than you might think
Using my various methods within hypnotherapy, I have already helped many to handle their anger in a more constructive way for themselves and their surroundings. It makes a huge difference. Both a relief and the ability to handle situations more constructively, without losing control. The healthy "no" anger remains - where one dares to say stop.
(See also my tips on daring to say no - firmly and kindly)